Woe to the Selfish Traveler!

A blog post by Maria Rocha, Spring 2011

Some say that awkward is a decision. I beg to differ. Awkward and uncomfortable situations are inescapable situations that offer the opportunity for growth in virtue and a good laugh later.

Exhibit B:

“Where on earth am I?”

This is always my first thought when waking up in a hostel. Waking up in a hostel is one of the more confusing parts of traveling. You wake up bleary eyed and disoriented because the ceiling is not the Kartause ceiling and the sheets feel funny. The only familiar things in the room are your backpack and travel companions.

On this particular morning, my travel mates and I were in Prague. Hoping they wouldn’t kill me for causing a ruckus so early in the morning and that I wouldn’t do any harm to myself by toppling off of the creaky ladder of my bunk bed, I crept slowly down. As I walked to the door, I dreamt of being first in the shower, getting prime mirror space, and even having time for a coffee. My dreams flew out the window which, unlike the door, was wide open. I tugged on the door again and again and still nothing happened. The sounds of my battle with the door woke one of my companions.

“It’s a deadbolt. You have to unlock it from in here,” he said groggily.

“Well good thing there is no key,” I retorted.

“NO KEY!?” He was awake now.

“No. Key,” I repeated.

“Dear Lord. I knew I should have kept it. I gave it to the last two people up. Ask them.”

“Umm they are sleeping,” I said.

“So was I,” he answered.

“Touchè.”

I tiptoed to the nearest bed and interrogated the first suspect.

“Umm hey, good morning.”

No response.

I began to poke the sleeping suspect on the arm.

“Psst, do you have the key? I wanna get out.”

“Nooo.”

“Umm, it’s a no,” I said over my shoulder as the suspect rolled over.

“Try the others.”

“Why me??” I was forced to be that guy; that person who wakes everyone up before they are ready; the evil fairy of premature consciousness.

When he didn’t answer me, I went around the room and interrogated the remaining four suspects. All I got was four sleepy, but definitively negative responses.

While three of our group remained asleep, the four of us played detective. We spent the greater part of two hours framing and blaming everyone in the room.

“I don’t know about you, but I really NEED to get out of here,” someone said.

“We all do,” someone else retorted.

“There is no way I’m wallowing in this hostel all day when Prague awaits me,” someone else cried.

“WHERE’S THE KEY!!”

Desperation had set in.

“Give me your phone,” someone said to me.

“Why?”

“I’m calling the front desk!”

“The front desk…here? The one downstairs?”

“Yes!”

As he put the phone to his ear, the morale in the room rose a bit.

“Hi. It’s room 37.”

Pause.

“Yes. Thirty. Seven. Here. We’re upstairs.”

Pause.

“Can you let us out?”

“Yes out of our room.”

“It’s here. We just can’t find it.”

“Thanks, man!”

Five minutes later a hostel employee opened the door and we assured him that he was the most wonderful person on the planet. After the hours we spent locked inside our hostel, we enjoyed our day in Prague much more. To all of you wondering what happened to the key, don’t worry. We found it a few hours later. Someone had put it in their backpack so it wouldn’t get lost.

When you travel with people, you share more than just a train car and a hostel. Everyone shares the responsibility of keeping track of time, keys, and each other. Woe to the selfish traveler! She will travel alone and have no one to blame for a lost key but herself.