Unsuspecting Trio: Gaming, Toddlers, and St. John of the Cross

My wife Niki recently wrote this article for a local Minneapolis paper; it's a nice piece inspired by the ordinary events of daily life in Gaming. Hope you enjoy!

My eighteen-month-old son, Dominic, has recently decided to assert his independence by insisting on holding my hand and walking when we go places, instead of being carried. In the little alpine village of Gaming, Austria, which we call home, walking is the primary mode of transportation. Whether it be to go to Mass, to work, into town, to the chapel- we walk almost everywhere.

Obviously, toddlers walk differently than adults. First of all, the short legs make for many more steps and thus a slower pace. Then there is the absolute wonder of the world they possess. On a typical two-block length walk Dominic will find numerous things to regard with awe. He’ll take a few steps, stop, look up at me and smile. Then he’ll spot a lone airplane in the clear blue sky. Again stopping, he’ll point and make a sound that is somewhat similar to the word "airplane." We continue again. Then comes the bridge over the river. I should be used to pauses here to admire the water below because my older son is still fascinated by the moving currents. Off again and we’re at the street. Another point of the index finger and this time the word "car."

At times I find myself frustrated at how much longer a trip takes while Dominic is not on my hip, but in control. But then one day the sheer beauty of this whole experience literally stopped me in my tracks (like Dominic does!) What a wonderful thing to be a child. They know nothing of deadlines, rushing around, running late, or being last. Yes, while we walk many others pass us by, but this never troubles Dominic. He is enjoying the experience and marveling in the surroundings.

A connection was also made in my mind between Dominic’s attitude and the spirituality of St. John of the Cross. I’ m currently reading, "The Impact of God" by English Carmelite Ian Matthew, and many themes became clearer to me in light of my experiences with Dominic. A major theme expanded by Fr. Matthew in the book is that God is seeking us as His beloved. He states, "God is an approaching God, and our main job will be not to construct but to receive; the key word will not be so much ‘achievement’ as ‘space’. ‘Making space for God in order to receive.’" (p.35) He elaborates on, "images of a God who initiates and invades…Progress will be measured, less by ground covered, more by the amount of room God is given to manoeuvre." (p. 37) Thus the spiritual life is less about what we do or accomplish and more about being present and having our hearts and very lives open so God can enter and be with us.

Matthew continues with this theme, "Writing to the Beas community, [St. John of the Cross] speaks of people who ‘do not stay empty, so that God might fill them with his ineffable delight; so they leave God just as they came—their hands were already full, and they could not take what God was giving. God save us from such unhappy burdens which keep us from such fair and wholesome freedom!’" (p. 37) This attitude of being present before God is of utmost importance.
St. John of the Cross asserts that ‘denial’ is necessary, defined as, "setting oneself free by saying no" (p. 43). Furthermore one must work for a "level of the spirit: availability as a person for communion; the space for the gift of the Other. This is more than just a rearrangement of pieces." (p. 45) This denial is necessary when temptations arise. The remedy? "In order to remain supple for the moment of challenge that will one day come," St. John says, "get used to going beyond yourself. Make a point of not always doing just what comes most comfortably. Do not keep running, but do keep fit. This is ‘acquiring the facility’." (p. 47)

Obviously, there is much more to be learned from St. John of the Cross. But the fundamental theme of a searching God is one that gives much food for thought. Maybe walking more slowly, de-cluttering our racing minds and forgetting about the time isn’t something just for toddlers after all.